Notes on Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney

***Warning: Spoilers

This novel was all cozy and smooth sailing until about page 150 which is a problem since the book 321 pages long. At this point, and this less-than-halfway point, Frances started becoming depressed -- yes, clinically depressed -- because a married man did not love her back. It was at this point that I realized that Conversations with Friends is not actually written for 2019 feminist audience despite the protagonist literally saying “as a feminist” around page 170. In fact, by page 263, the novel it became evident that this text quite the opposite.

By page 263, the book became anti-feminist and pointlessly religious. Not only does Nick rip on his wife with Frances -- though both him and Melissa have made it clear that they will never divorce -- he nearly starts crying when Frances says he would make a great father in response to his wife deciding she does not want to have children; Frances even considers mothering his non-existent child.

All the characters were indeed well-developed, but still, they were not enjoyable to read about. Frances said things like, “The idea of making images of a uterus that had nothing in it struck me as sad, like photographing an abandoned house,” and Bobbi was the classic depiction of a “radical feminist.” Frances often made fun of her passion. Actually, the story in general conveyed mockery towards Bobbi.

When Frances visited the hospital, the doctor had said that the biggest concern for women with endometriosis is infertility, NOT the debilitating pain that accompanies the condition that often renders life nearly unlivable for one in ten women. But our only purpose is to provide babies for men, right? Just like without a man’s affection we’ll spiral into severe depression.

A religious tone was created by several ignorant references to isolated Bible verses, and the faith motif was only used in the second half of the book which was strange. Just because I am an atheist does not mean I scoff at any mention of faith or religious practices. I scoff at baseless references and blind beliefs, because that’s how people are hurt, lose rights, are literally killed, etc., etc.

SO. With all that being said, I understand that this is a story and does not necessarily reflect the personal views of Sally Rooney; However, I deeply believe that written works should have purposes beyond entertainment, and the morals presented in this novel are not where they should be for 2019.

Bechdel Test passed.

Four stars during first 150 pages. Two stars by conclusion.